Tags: ankle

omg

All that working out yesterday killed me today. My ankle hurts, my leg hurts. Everything hurts.
On a bright note, when I got home, I confirmed my plans for summer 2010: I'm taking students on the from Rome to Athens trip. Woo Hoo!!!! I hope the trip makes.
I'd planned on London and Paris this summer, but I decided this week there was just no way. :-(
My ankle is too sore for me to know for sure I'd be up to a walking tour in less than a year.

I'm walking!!!!!

The doctor took me out of the boot and out me in an ankle brace called Active Ankle. I bought new tennis shoes (my feet grew TWO SIZES!!!!), and I'm WALKING!!!!!!!! It's not pretty, and the first couple steps I look like a newborn horse trying to get her legs under her, but I'm doing it!

Woo HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Day 2 and Oh Dear GOD!

I'm going to have to figure this school thing out. Today was another bad day. I kept the leg up more, but it still hurt like heck. I left a little earlier and then I went to my first day of outpatient physical therapy. All it was was the evaluation. Barely any movement at all, and when I got home, I thought I was going to die. The outside knob of the ankle bone hurt like it did the day I broke it. It took 5 hours to stop hurting. UGH!!!!!!!
My niece brought over a ton of books (woo hoo!). I have A Company of Swans, Marked, and a bunch more. YAY!!!!!!
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Out again

Made it to church today. Out of the house for four full hours with another two-hour trip planned for later. Woo Hoo.
So today's message was all about Esther. If I was in charge of teaching Esther, I'd spend a week at least on the beginning.
Growing up we were always told the beginning was all about obeying when you're supposed to or suffering severe consequences. In case you don't know the story it goes like this: King Xerxes called Queen Vashti to come to him and she refused, so she was banished from the kingdom. See obey or be banished. Obey=good Banish=Bad.
In reading it today, I saw things in a different light. My message on Esther would be:
SO King Xerxes has this six-month party and after drinking way too much and trying to show how Bad A he was and how he ruled all and everything he told someone to go fetch his queen, Vashti.
Only see, Vashti hadn't heard anything from Xerxes for six months, so she was ticked and said, uh-uh, I don't think so.
Xerxes hears that message and is infuriated. How dare his queen, a WOMAN, refuse to do exactly what he said. And in a drunken fit of rage decides with his drunken advisors to banish Vashti from the kingdom.
What a creep.
An it gets worse. Those same advisors say, hey Xerxes. You need to round up a bunch of gorgeous virgin girls from your kingdom and add them to your harems. And Xerxes thought, "gorgeous virgins, YEAH," and so he did.
In comes Esther. A beautiful young girl, minding her own business with her uncle and cousins, living her perfectly happy life when the king's men see her, say HEY, she's a sexy virgin, let's make her go. And without any choice on her part, Esther is moved into Xerxes' harem where for twelve months she's taught how to please the king for the one night she gets to spend with him. If she pleases him, he might let her stay in that harem. If not, she goes to the other harem where she'll basically cease to exist.
Lucky girl, she pleases the king.
Then the king decides she's too beautiful to simply be one of his harem wives, she's got to be the new queen.

When I was a kid, we were taught that Esther was lucky to be chosen as queen. That her life was one of luxury. That she was blessed. Looking at things now, I see it in a different light. One, look at what Xerxes did to Vashti. He partied for six months and when she didn't come to him immediately one time, he tossed her on her ear. He calls all these harem girls up to impress them with their twelve month lessons. He listens to advisors who encourage this type of behavior and worse as the story progresses.
 I don't think Esther was lucky at all. In fact, I figure Esther felt completely lost and afraid and hurt. The bible doesn't give us any insight into what she was thinking, but I figure it was something like "Hel-lo, God, I've been GOOD, really good. I've done everything as expected. I followed your law. I honored my family. WHY are you letting this happen to me? God please, I just wanna go home."
And I figure she was saying that kind of thing from the first day she got carted off to join the harem.

Then Xerxes, acting on his advisor's idea, decides to destroy the Jews in his kingdom, but he doesn't realize Esther's a Jew. And Esther ends up saving the Jews and Xerxes because the advisor was plotting against him too, and the advisor who came up with this plan ends up impaled on a big stick. And Esther does all this by taking charge, going against the way things have always been and using her femininity.

While I was reading that story today, the preacher was saying God uses you, even when you're alone. And while I totally agree that message is part of Esther, I also see a bigger lesson. That God uses our bad times even when we don't have clue what's going on.  AND then there's the female power part of the story. If Esther hadn't been brave, if she hadn't stepped out of her comfort zone and gone in to see Xerxes even though he hadn't called for her, the Jews would've been killed. It's a powerful story. Far more powerful than I realized until today, Because while I'm all or honoring and obeying when it's the right thing to do, it never was the right thing to do in this story. My early teachers were WAY wrong about that. WAY wrong.

Graduation

I graduated to writing the ABCs with my foot today. Who knew the ankle could move so little? I'm having fun with this new therapy. I can write I hate Italian public hospitals and I'm sorry Gladiator Ghosts and I should be writing. I also graduated to a walker. I can't describe how ridiculous I look walking through my house with it, but it's a million times better than crutches or the wheelchair. My dang cat thinks it's a game. I hope I don't hurt her because while it's a game for her, I wasn't graceful before the walker and now I'm even worse. Smooshed Sprinkles would make me a sad mom. Worse than how sad I was when DD went college dorm shopping with her Mema instead of with me. They were out five hours and hit tons of stores. DD said it was the most shopping she'd ever done. It's true. Shopping =hell in my world, but I'm still sad I wasn't there.
Yesterday I looked down at my leg and a deathly fear hit me. My calf was missing. My leg was deformed. The "re-surgery" hadn't worked. Then I realized my calf was there, it just was completely flat now. No muscle tone at all. Eventually that's going to hurt.



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INVASION

So today, for absolutely no reason,  I burst out crying. Actually it was sobbing. I was sitting in DH's recliner, and he'd just walked in from mowing in 108 heat, and I lost. it. And he got this really strange screwed up look on his face and said, "Ah, Babe, don't cry. What's wrong? What are you crying? Can I get you anything? Don't cry." and a million more don't cries, and I couldn't stop. It was a flashback to 8th grade, only this time this sexy, amazing man was standing there beside me looking like maybe the body snatchers had stopped by our house while he was out busting his butt, and it totally freaked me out. I really, really need to get better so I can go out in the real world. I'm even ready to go back to school. Maybe the Body Snatchers DID stop by while DH was out working today.
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Ankle update

I went to the doctor in Dallas again today and this time, he liked the way the ankle, leg and foot looked, so the cast came off and I got put in a boot. Good part: I can shave my leg! Bad part: DEAR GOD it hurt when he moved my foot to almost the right position. :-) I still can't put any real weight on it, but I do get to start working on ankle movement, and over the next two weeks I'll be working to remove two wedges in the heel portion of the boot so my foot can be flat for my next appointment August 13. Very BEST part: I'm finally off bedrest. My five week hiatus from life is over. I won't walk for two weeks, but I don't have to stay toes above nose. The doctor said it will still swell, and when that happens, I need to rest, but I'll be okay. I know the next few weeks will be painful, but it's all part of getting better. I'm off the heavy duty painkillers now too, so I can carry on real conversations, remember talking to people and even make rational decisions. :-)
Thank you all so much for the prayers, the food, the positive thoughts, the books and everything else. I wanted to keep you posted. I'll never talk about Gladiator ghosts again, but I will go back to Italy one day.
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YOU

You asked me out. I almost said no. My friend reminded me dinner and a movie. I changed my mind, said yes.
You drove though an ice storm to make that date.
And we laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
I think, somewhere, I fell in love that night. I just didn't know it.
Th next week you introduced me to Monty Python. And watched Julia Roberts movies with me. And told me the grass grew backwards, and I believed you because, after all, you WERE in the lawn business. And all these years later, you still tease me about that. And all these years later, I still love Monty Python. And you still hate Julia Roberts, but I didn't know that then.
A few months later while I sat on the phone crying and listening as someone screamed at me on the other line, you whispered, "hang up the phone, Babe. Just hang up." But I couldn't do it because I never had. And after a minute of that, you gently pulled the phone from my hand and quietly told the person on the line "goodbye," hung up and held me while I cried some more. And when my tears were dry, you taught me about power and how with some people the only answer is to hang up the phone because to listen is to let them control the situation. It's a lesson I've never forgotten, and one I've shared with others again and again.
Four and a half weeks ago, you agonized while I was stuck in the hospital in Italy and you were stuck here and insurance kept changing their minds about whether they'd let me come home or not, but finally decided no, I had to stay there for the surgery because the plane ride could kill me. And then you made me laugh, even though you were thousands of miles away, and I desperately, desperately needed to laugh.
Then I came home, and for the last three weeks, I've put the "in sickness" part of our vows to the test. And for the past three weeks, I've fallen a little bit more in love with you, every day, as you've helped me put all this in perspective. As we always say, "Hey, it could be worse. You could be that priest who fell under the riding lawn mower and died, or that tourist in South Africa who got eaten by the Great White and all that was left was her little red swimming cap, or, and really, this is the big one: none of it matters. Iran is on the fast track to nuclear weapons."
Run away, run away. It's just a flesh wound. Knights that say NI...We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. She turned me into a newt. And me. And me too. And me! I'm not dead. Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long. Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head. I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle! You're foolin' yourself! We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working class...Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer! I *warned* you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you *knew*, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little *bunny*, isn't it? Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.

Bedrest part 212

Things I've discovered this week on bedrest:
•If I look at my ceiling long enough, I see faces in the popcorn stuff sprayed up there. One of the faces looks exactly like Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
•The middle cushion on my couch is a little lower then either sides. (I paid a LOT for this couch! How can it already be uneven?)
•There's this funky cobweb hanging from the top left corner of the linen closet.
•If you divide 5007 by 17, you'll understand why the pattern is off by one. (Just joking. I'd never get that bored. I don't even know if that made sense!)
•eBay isn't always cheaper and it gets boring after twenty minutes.
•Purple toes are kind of cool looking.
•There's a Reece's wrapper under dh's recliner. We haven't had that candy here since 1969. Nah, we really haven't had it here since Halloween three years ago.
•Karen Kelley's blog is really funny.
•My baby toe hides under the toe next to it whether it's swollen or not.
•Nine of the bricks in the broken fireplace are darker than all the others. Weird.
•I can listen to the Wicked soundtrack back-to-back three times and still not be tired of it.
•My pinky toe on the surgery foot still has the nail polish from the Europe pedicure I got the day before leaving for London even though they took off all the polish right before they did surgery.
•I have a freckle behind my left knee I never knew was there.
•My mom can do magic, also known as touch therapy. She can run her hands just above my leg up and down over the area where I had surgery and pull the pain out. DD and DH have tried without success.
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Ankle update

I didn't get the stitches out, but the doctor said everything looks good. I have a hot pink cast for 1 week. Next week I go back to get the stitches out and get a boot AND I get to start putting weight on the foot. One more week. Whew!
The only bad part of today was straightening out my foot. After five weeks, it wasn't very cooperative!
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